Beer. Have you had one today? Undoubtedly you have. Scientists have puzzled for thousands of years why our bodies require beer for survival, but one thing is sure: without beer, human beings would not have survived long enough to develop culture, language or art. Over the years many substitutes for beer have been developed, such as wine, Gatorade and water, but all have failed. The finest wines may be fit for farm animals, children and comatose people, but there is simply a no replacement for a good beer.
Creme Brulee Imperial Milk Stout - Southern Tier (NY)
VERDICT: Delicious, exactly what it sounds like
Southern Tier is easily one of my top breweries right now, for the simple reason that they brew an impressive variety of original ales that are always exactly what they promise to be. Many micros try and fail to create quirky experimental beers, but Southern Tier takes them as seriously as any other microbrew takes their signature IPA. The Creme Brulee Milk Stout isn't just a standard stout with some vanilla extract tossed in at the last minute — this is a full-on vanilla / chocolate rush, the closest I've ever had to dessert in a bottle. I wouldn't bother with this unless you're a fan of sweet milk stouts to begin with, as there's no bitterness or hop flavor to be found, and the 10% ABV is absurdly well hidden. This is probably the least beery-beer I've ever had — you could almost convince me that it was some kind of coffee with a drop of kahlua. If you don't mind your beer sweet, dark, rich and tasty, there really is no way to create a more perfect execution of the concept than this. I would gladly savor this any evening, or wake up to it any morning as a refreshing breakfast replacement.
Vanilla Java Porter - Atwater Block Brewery (MI)
VERDICT: Meh
I had this before the Southern Tier above, and my god, they could not be more different. I almost gave up on the idea of a vanilla stout/porter after this. Mediocre, typical porter flavor, weak and thin with a bland mouthfeel, followed by a strange, unpleasant chemical aftertaste. Almost no hint of vanilla, except — perhaps — a very slight artificial note of vanilla extract. Not just bland, but depressingly bad.
90 Minute IPA - Dogfish Head (DE)
VERDICT: Interesting in small portions
Dogfish is right there with Southern Tier in my top breweries, and their IPAs are often considered the best in the country. Their 90 Minute is certainly interesting — rich in flavor like a barleywine, as hoppy as you'd expect, but blended together to create something that isn't overwhelming in any one direction. The best feature of the beer, for me, was the surprisingly controlled level of bitterness. I never felt like the hops were unpleasantly overwhelming, and yet you can taste them clearly, well enough to appease stringent hop-Nazis. I won't get into the whole lore behind Dogfish's brewing process, but essentially the 90 Minute is their middle-tier IPA, clocking in at 9% ABV, and unfortunately that also leaves it in the middle of interesting-but-difficult. Paired with food, this is a very fine, enjoyable beer, but once on its own I found it impossible to finish the second bottle. There are simply too many strong flavors, and though they mix together for an interesting, smooth pallet, it inevitably falls into the trap of all overly-complicated ales: you start to feel like you need to crack open a pilsner to chase the last few sips.
Raspberry Wheat - Southern Tier (NY)
VERDICT: Good for a fruit beer
One of the few Southern Tier varieties available in six-packs, their take on a raspberry wheat is better than most I've tried, though far from the surge of rich flavors that their pumpkin and milk stout provide. The raspberry is strong but not overwhelming or overly-sharp. The beer presence is light, as expected, but not totally lost or watered-down. I'll have to compare a variety of raspberry beers all at once at some point, but this stands out as one of the more memorable ones I've had. Still, fruit-beers in general rarely make a lasting impression, and rarely make good session beers. A good effort and finely-executed, but nothing to rush out and stock up on.
Whitsun - Arcadia Brewing Company (MI)
VERDICT: Recommended
A wheat beer, but very different from others I've had. With added hops and strong citrus overtones, this seems almost a different style entirely from German wheat beers. The hops are remarkably strong for a style in which they're usually all-but absent, though this is still a far cry from an IPA. There are just enough hops to get themselves noticed, which seems perfect. The combination of sour/bitter flavors and strong carbonation creates a pleasant, engaging mouthfeel, and a nice change from simply-sweet wheats and whites while retaining the same appeal.
Woodchuck Fall Cider - Woodchuck Draft Cider (VT)
VERDICT: Terrible. Fuck off. There's none left for you.
Cider? In my beer review blog-entry? It's more likely than you think. I do enjoy ciders, but my experience with them is rather limited. I've tried various brands, but only traditional apple cider, and thus far they kind of taste the same to me — sure, there are subtle differences, but as with wine and very specific beer styles, you mostly find one flavor profile with better-or-worse variations and various eccentricities. However, Woodchuck's Fall Cider — a limited release that, god-willing, soon replaces Vitamin Water, soda and the ocean — is worlds apart from all the rest. Cider is drinkable enough, crisp and light and refreshing, but this — this is goddam crack cocaine. The brave and talented men, women, children and animals at Woodchuck distilled the entire season of autumn and rammed it into a bottle with the fist of god. If you don't like traditional non-alcoholic apple cider, the kind you get at a harvest festival served in a big hollow pumpkin on a picnic table in the midst of a large field where wood-spirits dance gaily in the distance, then you won't like this. There's an immense blast of cinnamon flavor wrapped up in a smooth, satisfying cider body. This isn't a complex drink, but it doesn't have to be. It isn't just drinkable — I mean, this is liquid death. I could probably drink this for six months straight and never get sick of it. You are playing with the Wrath of God here, my friend. They will one day find me laying face-first in a field of pumpkins, dead and drowned in a puddle of vomit, love and Woodchuck Fall Cider. There will be a smile on my face.
Weihenstephaner Vitus - Brauerei Weihenstephan (GER)
VERDICT: My second favorite beer
Vitus is a weizenbock, which is basically an imperial version of traditional German wheat beers. Vitus clocks in at 7.7% ABV, pours a beautiful murky orange-gold, has a head of foam that you could use as shaving cream, and when you try to drink it, kicks your ass, "borrows" your wallet and marries your (ex)girlfriend. This beer is a work of art. If this beer were sitting in a museum, I would stand in front of it with my hand on my chin, lost in thought. If this beer filled a swimming pool, I would be a better swimmer than Michael Phelps. If this beer filled the ocean, I would live on a small rocky island somewhere in the deep Pacific. Like many hefes, Vitus tastes of bananas (very strongly, actually) but manages to be extremely complex at the same time. There's a thick spicy-smooth mouthfeel that finishes nicely: dry, sour, almost hoppy. This is the wheat beer to end all wheat beers. If you find the style remotely appealing, you will not regret trying this.
Aventinus - Weissbierbrauerei G. Schneider & Sohn (GER)
VERDICT: Interesting, good
Aventinus is technically the same rare style of wheat beer as Vitus, a weizenbock. I was expecting a lot of similarities, as with most wheat beers, but these two are actually quite different. Where Vitus is a lovely gold, this pours a murky brown, like a belgian. The taste is not unlike some Belgians, too, with a very rich malty taste upfront, and various fruity / citrusy flavors carrying over the underlying wheat-beer profile. At 8% ABV, you can actually taste the alcohol in the aftertaste on this one, but the pallet of flavors is so deep that it's never problematic, and by the end of the sip everything is lost in a rich, sugary smoothness. Whereas Vitus is essentially a strong hefe on steroids, Aventinus is a hefe-base with various layers built over top of it. It works well, becoming even smoother as the beer warms, and I'm glad for this variation, even if it's not as sessionable as many standard hefes.
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